Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Remake

John le Carré’s Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy is not just a book I love. In 1979, at arguably their peak in terms of television drama, the BBC turned Tinker into what is indisputably my favourite television programme of all time. I still watch in its entirety on a pretty much annual basis and never tire of its themes of betrayal and decline; seemingly improving with age as it becomes a period piece that embodies Britain's changed understanding of itself and its position in the world following years of post-war decline. So it comes as no surprise that I’m just a bit excited by the imminent release of the big screen version. The problem is that I just know in my cynical old bones that I’m going to be a bit disappointed. It’s really just a matter of how disappointed I’m going to be. Yes, of course I know I should give it a chance. I can assure that I will. I shall drag my wife (who has never read or seen it) to the cinema overflowing with irritating and somewhat out of character positive vibes. I shall be a veritable cheerleader for George Smiley and the chaps of The Circus. I am overwhelmed by a desire to give this movie a chance. It’s either this sense of fair-mindedness or my masochistic streak that has had me searching the net for months, searching for the inevitable ‘teaser’.

After all, the net buzz for Tinker has been good. The Internet press have been falling over themselves to say how great this film is going to be because...well, just why are they so enthused?  As far as I can tell, the reasons why they believe it will be great are that it is British, based on a book they haven’t read that was turned into a TV series they haven’t seen (with Obi-Wan Kenobi in it), and it stars Gary Oldman and Colin Firth. Everyone loves Gary and Colin, don’t they? Perhaps they do. Furthermore, that ‘British’ tag is important. No-one wanted to see Tom Cruise or, heaven forbid, Johnny Depp with his British accent (he only has one) or this quintessentially British spy story transposed to America with the obligatory car chases, guns and girls. Well not many of us, I would have thought (and hoped).

And now the teaser is upon us.

 Now teasers are a funny thing. They are based on the law that if you squeeze a film of any length into  sixty seconds (thereby showing the best 0.5% , or something like that), then any film will look good. So the best we can tell from a teaser is that, if it still looks like the film will be poor, then we can expect a turkey the size of Godzilla when it is finally released. But Tinker’s teaser has given cause to those who knew it would be great to positively gush over its general demeanour of both moodiness and seriousness. Everyone loves moodiness and seriousness, right? This will be the Greatest Movie of All Time and will attract an avalanche of Oscars. Moody and serious movies win Oscars and we all know what a guarantee of quality an Oscar is. (We do? – Ed)

Unfortunately, it pains me to say that Tinker’s biggest fan (me) actually rather hates the teaser. Sorry, but I do. It’s quite hard to say why but there is something thoroughly untinkerish about it. For a start, there is a definite hint of sexiness. Ricky Tarr is seen interacting with (what I assume to be) Irina in what can only be described as a moment of steaminess. Tinker is not a sexy story. It’s not often that I don’t welcome a bit of steaminess but here it just isn’t right. Then there’s that room the big five are meeting in; its plush carpeted walls giving a sense of womb-like security that will, no doubt, give the presence of Gerald (the mole) a sense of violating threat. But remember the scruffy looking meeting room with painted radiators and seventies civil service charm from the TV series? Apart from the sense of authenticity it gave Tinker, the trappings of decay perfectly captured the idea of British decline as another layer of betrayal. As Connie Sachs so eloquently put it: “Poor loves. Trained to Empire, trained to rule the waves.” Britain no longer provided them with the cause they were created for. This was all part of the explanation for Gerald’s betrayal itself and this further loss of innocence was beautifully captured by the use of a choir boy singing “Nunc Dimittis” over the closing credits. I don’t mind admitting that the emotional effect of this music makes me feel a little overcome after my annual Tinker viewing. Now, I realise that the music in this teaser is not the music that will be used; in fact it is the music from The Wolfman (2010). However, if it’s indicative of what we’ll get in the final release, then they’re clearly going for “tense” rather than “reflective” and I’d rather my Tinker was the latter. 

Oh well, I must stop thinking anyone thinks of me when they make a movie. Tinker is a good yarn and it’s never been made for a worldwide cinema audience so it was only a matter of time until we got a mainstream film. Mind you, it was a good yarn’s lack of exposure that I suspect gave somebody the wheeze of remaking The Wickerman (1973) and look what a success that was. I shall do my best to enjoy this film and, for all I’ve said, I’m still looking forward to it. I just get the feeling that it won’t be my Tinker anymore.